How to Get Someone to Like You

• Call/ text them, all the time. Persistence is key.
• When they stop, assume they are playing 'hard to get'. (The 'assume' rule does not apply)
• If they get a restraining order, don't be down, because they will set up a court date, so it has to be working. It's a court date, after all. 
• Purposely trip them so you can offer to kiss it and make it better.
• Pretend to drown, so they will give you CPR
• Throw rocks at their window, and when they look out, do a dramatic performance of 'my love don't cost a thing.'
• Drive by their house 20 times a day to check up on them. Everyone loves a protective spouse.
• And most importantly, never give up! As Lady Gaga sings, "Follow you until you love me, paparazzi." 

-If you try our methods and get a date, cancel it, because they are most likely crazy.